You have so much potential, because you are created by God, and you have so much power inside of you.  That power is always waiting to come out, and it can be used for good or bad; but only when you use it for good are you going to be truly happy.

So, you have to believe in happiness, you have to believe in the world, in yourself, in people, in Love!!  Because God is Love, and he gives us eternal life!  Believe in eternal life!  And then you will grow into the best version of you, the one that, if you saw her, would make your jaw drop because she is so strong, confident, intelligent, kind, caring, respectful, funny, charitable, loving, loved by everyone who meets her and talks to her, full of life and character, trustworthy, graceful, she dreams the biggest dreams and has great plans for herself and those who she inspires and helps to become big dreamers like her.

To repent is to regret the misdeeds of the past
                                                                              and make a strong commitment to the future.

The cognitive dissonance reverberating through your mind

like the standing waves of a microwave

symbolize

the limit of self-sacrifice for some;

the staple of students living prearranged lives;

the extent to which some parents will go to for their children,

a vestige of care for the little ones whose most precious feet are charged with the future,

and whom we are glad to lock into institutions for 8 hours a day;

for, when they learn the cynical and hypocritical perspective of society,

we act as if everything were perfect, excusing ourselves from an uncomfortable conversation

with the little ones who wonder why they couldn't be closer to mommy and daddy,

little ones who, when grown into teenagers, are estranged and taught by other lonely lost youth

to objectify the opposite sex and hide their innermost feelings,

not suspecting the roots of this driven discord within the behavior of parents

who unknowingly and tragically objectified their children,

fearing fantasized and implied social costs

of not shutting off and sealing tight that curiosity and affinity towards intimacy

with the closest and most beloved

of a budding being's life.

Curiosity reveals her.

A freer form,
A straining of anxious juices,
A periphrasy more,
And together we grow.

Perhaps one day
These intentions and ambitions
See the light,

Perhaps in darkness

Ever to dwell.

If a smile

I can vouchsafe

From whom

I’d give my life,

Repentance was not vain.

A mistake

Silence is not implicit acceptance.

It is an implicit withholding of judgement.

We laugh at something the irony of which is lost on us.

Gabriel Shows Adam the Future of Mankind

"Here Adam interposed:—'O sent from Heaven,

Enlightener of my darkness, gracious things

Thou hast revealed, those chiefly which concern

Just Abraham and his seed. Now first I find

Mine eyes true opening, and my heart much eased,

Erewhile perplexed with thoughts what would become

Of me and all mankind; but now I see

His day, in whom all nations shall be blest—

Favour unmerited by me, who sought

Forbidden knowledge by forbidden means...'"

From Paradise Lost, by John Milton

Adam Accepts the Forbidden Fruit from Eve's Hands

{Dalliance: sex}

"But that false Fruit   
Far other operation first displayed,   
Carnal desire inflaming. He on Eve   
Began to cast lascivious eyes; she him   
As wantonly repaid; in lust they burn,
Till Adam thus ’gan Eve to dalliance move:—   
  “Eve, now I see thou art exact of taste   
And elegant—of sapience no small part;   
Since to each meaning savour we apply,   
And palate call judicious. I the praise
Yield thee; so well this day thou hast purveyed.   
Much pleasure we have lost, while we abstained   
From this delightful Fruit, nor known till now   
True relish, tasting. If such pleasure be   
In things to us forbidden, it might be wished           
For this one Tree had been forbidden ten.   
But come; so well refreshed, now let us play,   
As meet is, after such delicious fare;   
For never did thy beauty, since the day   
I saw thee first and wedded thee, adorned           
With all perfections, so enflame my sense   
With ardour to enjoy thee, fairer now   
Than ever-bounty of this virtuous Tree!”   
  So said he, and forbore not glance or toy   
Of amorous intent, well understood   
Of Eve, whose eye darted contagious fire.   
Her hand he seized, and to a shady bank,   
Thick overhead with verdant roof imbowered,   
He led her..."


 From Paradise Lost, by John Milton

2-ce

Aliens pretending to be the people I see
In the memories and imagination of a daydream.

They pretend long enough so that I trust their act;
Then, once they know I won't look away, they turn towards me and remove their faces,

From inside of which come out snake-like, pulsating tentacle-tubes,
Lengthening towards me, piercing through soft spots in the barrier

Between the observed and the observer.
They have exploited the weaknesses of my mind

To gain access to the deepest parts of me,
To rape my soul.

I almost want to die rather than feel this anymore...
All I have to do is open my eyes, but I am too mesmerized and shocked to use my free will...

Then I see that even the background blackness has played the deceptive part;
The darkness of my closed eyes was a giant alien, who was facing me

And passively letting the other strange impostors "dance" between himself and I,
And whose mask comes off slowly, and whose penetrating tubes reach me quickly and forcefully.

THEY FEED
ON ME.

I got up, put on my shoes,
And went for a run.

I felt
Better.

Datura experiment

I had boiled a couple flowers and leaves in a half-gallon of water, strained it, and stored it.

The first day, I drank a fourth of a cup.  The second day, a third of a cup.  The third day, half a cup.

I didn't notice any effects while this lasted.

The last day, I drank 3/4ths of a cup before going to see a movie with my family.

No surprises.  Went to bed normal.

The next two days I forgot about the experiment completely, as if I had done nothing interesting at all the previous week.

Sometime in the evening on the third day from the last dosage, as I walked past a mirror in the living room of my house, a fleeting, vivid memory flashed into my mind.  It was of myself walking past this mirror with a deranged smile and red eyes.  What was strange about this memory is that it seems that my appearance hadn't disturbed me in the slightest; I hadn't thought it anything other than totally normal and natural that I should be wearing a psychotic, serial-killer look on my face, or that my eyes should be blood red.  The person who I "was" in this memory seemed like he would be alright with just about anything, and was pleased at his own derangement.

The memory is without context.

It is terrifying to have memories of yourself doing things, thinking things, and behaving in certain ways, and to realize that whom you were in these memories doesn't sympathize with you at all.

When you remember what you did while drunk on alcohol, the person whom you were, although perhaps a stupid brute, showed some kind of concern for his own well-being and safety and could give evidence of some intelligence towards that end.  But the person whom you become on the Nightshade plants seems to possess a fragmented intelligence which is not unified or directed towards any definite purpose, including not being directed towards basic self-preservation.  We can't possibly sympathize with such a person, since almost all people, no matter what issues and decisions they face, would always choose to subordinate all other claims to their attention if one of those decisions required them to do so in order to devote their energies to the goal of self-preservation.

-------------------------------------------

Am I seeking, like Adam or Eve, to obtain "forbidden knowledge by forbidden means?"

What this would mean to me is simply that there is some knowledge which can be obtained only through some degree of self-destruction.  If it is true that any dose of anticholinergics which has an overt psychotropic effect causes damage to the body/brain/mind/soul, then, yes, as a source of knowledge through entheogenic use, these drugs are "forbidden fruit."

Curiosity mixed with heedlessness is often dangerous.

Patience and precaution are not optional in experimenting with these drugs, and ignorance can't be excused.

There is a word which is never on the mind of one who is intent on taking a rash action: "wisdom."  We shun it when we are determined and convicted in our mischief and foolishness, when we have decided that we must and shall act according to our desire.

To understand how someone feels
Requires abstracting from yourself.

The most complete abstraction one could make

Is death.

In this way, love and death are

Intimately related.

To emulate another person's experience
Is a category of abstraction

Not quite extreme as death,
Yet as distinct from it

As from any simulation possible
To our minds.

community

I feel ashamed after I masturbate.  Why is this?

Cam:
I found out my own answer from a doctors blog if you are masterbating more than once a week it is unhealthy. to cut it back to once a month and when you do, masturbate man or women you loose vital vitamins and minerals from ejaculation like proteins, b-vitamins, and others, and when you do it excessively you can lose muscle mass from the lack of protien to your body and get more angry and irritable from doing it your body naturaly will, clean it self out dead sperm cells and the body will reobsorb it. I have stopped completely I feel wonderful more energetic happier to do it once a month is healthy by his standards it is up to you how far you want to go with it

Ali:
When you do it too much and it affects your lifestyle then yes it does become unhealthy and has many health risks; however, it’s actually very healthy and can boost your sex life, decrease women’s risk of breast cancer, relieve stress, etc etc. It doesn’t matter how often you do or don’t do it, what matters is if it fits your lifestyle. Masturbation is completely natural and healthy and no one should ever be made to feel ashamed or guilty of the act.

Alex:
Well…when you masturbate you’re technically replacing happiness for that specific moment and then you feel like crap because that “built-in happiness” went away. So that shame that people feel after masturbating is just an amplified anxiety feeling that you get when you think of something that you should feel ashamed of(in this case masturbation itself). So in general you’d still feel like crap if you’d have a reason to and in your case you create a reason to be ashamed of. Now i’m not saying it’s ok to do it since most people become depressed because of it. People who don’t are just in the phase where they don’t really know that they’re addicted or they deny that their addicted or they just started doing it. Masturbation is too pleasurable not to get addicted to. It’s like eating from McDonalds once and say you’re never going to that place again. It just doesn’t make sense…but after you realise that you don’t really need it and you just want it, all you have to do is..stop doing it when you don’t want to do it :) Peace 8-)


------------------


Do women feel shame after masturbating, like men do?

nichollas111:
So, I am not a woman and can't really give you a real answer, but I doubt many woman feel ashamed of themselves after they have masturbated, as it is a normal and healthy habbit.

bumbleybees:
Sometimes I do. Which is weird, I'm not a prude, no messed up religious background or anything like that. Although sometimes I do think "What if my room is haunted and a ghost just saw me do that?!"

IgnatiusBSamson:
Who the fuck feels ashamed for masturbating?!

sjleader:
Dude. You feel shameful because most likely your religious views or whatever have tainted you... Its natural- so enjoy and don't feel guilty, or, go see a therapist, because thats not normal.

DiscordianAgent:
I dunno, if I waste the entire day playing with my dick, as a supposed adult, that gets a bit shameful. But the act itself isn't something I see with any shame.

reerathered1:

If masturbating isn't shameful then why don't you do just do it in front of your family? If it isn't shameful then why do people call it dirty? if it isn't shameful then why do people have rape fantasies or get excited about words like "slut" or fantasize about "deflowering" someone who's "barely legal"? If it isn't shameful then why are people so crude about it? if it isn't shameful then why is sex called a loss of innocence?? I could go on.
(I am not saying that it's always shameful.)

theillx:

I am now realizing just how drastically different men perceive sex and climaxing from women.

Sure it comes down to money; but who can say what the Illuminati wants that money for? Perhaps they want to build a Noah's Ark to save humans and other plants and animals? A space colony which, if everyone knew about, would fail to save anyone since everyone would fight over it and destroy it?

y y y

I keep a bit away
A bite away

I don't see nothing
It's dark

There's a sweaty hand
A formal man

I stick too tight too close
No room for to remoof

I think I may just moose
I stall

I wonder then at home
I stir and stir

There's end to all
Could end so well

My flight might fall
My wings my whip

I know the sound
The sound is light

The light is pure
Fits like a dove
 
The weed is good
Affection too

None other like
None like in dreams

In dreams and thoughts
Beneath I dwell

To break the spell
Undo the pain

The loveless dragging on
Send back the words

Untie unwind
Unwind untie and cured!

Pull my heart on a string through a field of stones.

We are more unique in our expression than in our impulses.

The other day I woke up to my alarm clock: I had only gotten a few hours of sleep, and I had to go to work.  The alarm clock seemed to take on a menacing aspect, almost like an angry face.

I feel that this hallucination is important in understanding/building/critiquing Freud's theory of the mechanisms of dream-formation.

An angry, impatient clock gives me no reason to take it seriously; if the clock is being an asshole then fuck that clock, I'm going back to sleep.  I don't need that shit.

A dream

I walked past a hanging Goddess and her head came off and accosted me with a terrible stare. I took her in my arms and sat with her on my lap, and she became very mournful and distraught, slowly dying. She searched with her eyes and ears for anything, even the compassion a mere mortal like myself could give, to alleviate her pain. I tried to soothe her and tell her that it would pass, that she would become beautiful again, but the reality of her imminent death and separation from beauty manifested itself in the form of a flower which appeared before us, glowing from its petals.  She envied the flower its health and youth -- or, she would have, if she'd had the strength of will to feel envy; she could only feel hopelessness, exacerbated by the radiance and indifference of the Flower. She cried quietly to me that the flower was mean to her, and I said "that is just the way flowers are, don't let her trouble you..."  Caressing her forehead while she closed her tearful eyes, I soothed her, saying, "Sleep, now..."

If Drugs were legalized

Addicts would no longer have to hide and keep quiet about their Addictions; children would start asking questions rather than bottling their feelings up; teenagers would be taught, when they ask, exactly why certain Drugs are not worth getting addicted to, why getting "faded” or “wasted" is really disrespectful to yourself and people who love you (and everyone else, really).

    Anyone with a mild interest in Drugs can find, with a little asking around, at least one drug amongst the popular-on-the-street categories.  That means nothing is protecting us from Drugs except our own dislike of Drug Users and Drug culture.  We have made our intolerance and misunderstanding into federal law.  Once you decide that "maybe" you would do Drugs, suddenly you notice a smile in you co-worker's face, or a tone of voice you never noticed before, and curiosity and trust draw you in, — and you’ll realize it’s not all black and white markets.




    We will not use more drugs when they are legalized; the media makes it seem that way — and yes, when weed is legalized, you can count on them showing us plenty of teenagers taking bong rips at wild parties with topless girls throwing up on each other -- but drugs are already available to anyone with the necessary curiosity and patience.

    Patience doesn't mean you tell everyone you would do drugs if they were around, it means you wait until drugs are around to do them.  Essentially, we have made knowledge illegal.  Idiotic scare tactics for children and pre-teens are certain proof of it.

Dear friends and neighbors,

There aren't enough naked marches to town hall.

There aren't enough people pretending to smoke weed out of bongs in the street, next to cops aiming radar guns at traffic.

There isn't enough chalk-writing by school sidewalks, or in front of the police station, or at Art Walk, that says "approved by taxpayers," or some other smart-ass shit.

There aren't enough government representatives out there with signs held up by their family members that read "how do you feel about our policies this month? We want to know!" and, "our customers are dear to us!" etc.